Amazing piece of awesomeness

Remember that weird feeling of butterflies fluttering around in your stomach, or if you are like me, the sudden increase in heartbeats combined with the sensation as if a burning piece of charcoal had found its way into the core of your heart? Okay, this is not about some kind of ailment even though after you are cured of it, you might wonder if you had been delusional or just plain crazy (only if there are regrets). What this actually is about is the first person whom your heart went out to. Forget about love, this is about the sensational feeling called ‘first crush’. If you have never had it (stop lying to yourself), why are you reading this (okay, celebrity crushes cannot be counted)?
First crushes have got to be one of the best feelings ever. I have nothing against love but crushes have a simplicity about them. The uncertainty about it all, the slight jealousy at people who get to be near them, an overwhelming happiness in your first eye contact with this amazing piece of awesomeness that is termed as a human being! Leaves you feeling giggly, doesn’t it? Love probably gives you the same effect but it just seems complicated and over-dramatic and sometimes, way too sacrificial. But your first crush or let’s say your best crush (because only a lucky few have the best ones first), is someone you can think about with a smile spreading instantly on your face. Going back to the days where you spent hours day-dreaming about what it would be like to have a future together, moving heaven and earth to catch a glimpse of them, failing to hide your blushing face when your friends (if they are good ones like me or mine) tease you whenever they cross your path and trying to find out where they live (I just recently found out that this was a thing) by either following them or well, just stalking them the good old way using whatever networking sites were available those days, gets you nostalgic enough to wish it lasted longer. And how weird is that none of these seem like wasted time even now?
Then came the day when you finally got to talk to the one that got your mind completely muddled up and yes, it could have gone awfully wrong. From talking too fast to not talking at all (you might have even felt a little giddy and blacked out) and making you blurt out the fact that you like their eyes (oh god, you’re doomed!), your crush had (probably still has) the ability to convert you into a complete maniac by just gracing your existence with their presence. Also, creativity shot up during this phase with singers composing songs about their crushes, poems being written by poets, artists spending hours in front of their canvas to perfect the sketch of that oh-so-divine face and actors imagining all their romantic lines being said to their one and only. It had also messed up those sports sessions when you were too busy to notice what was happening around you and got hit in the head because your crush just passed by or on another extreme, spent all your study hours dreaming of all the things you would do for your crush and failing miserably in the tests for the first time in your life.
A lucky few picked up the courage to profess their love and succeeded while some failed and learnt to live with a broken heart. There are others who locked up their feelings and refused to acknowledge them for fear of rejection and other reasons. And some got to realise that the feeling wore away with time. From being (or thinking that you were) head over heels in love with someone to wondering why you ever liked them in the first place, crushes seem like a heady cocktail of emotions that life had served us. And then there’s the fact that love could evolve out of them which also makes them a little dangerous for those who are afraid to fall in love. Whatever may be the case, the realisation that one person could take over a part of your life and become so important to you without much effort from their side and leave you feeling ecstatic with just a friendly nod teaches us that there is a part of us that is struggling to shower all the love and affection that is kept bottled up inside. The only thing that matters is that it is showered on the right person for the right reasons. And sometimes, the reason you know this is because of your first crush. If it weren’t for them, how would you ever have learnt to get back on your feet again and love another for who they are instead of what you thought they would be like? So, go ahead and thank your crushes in your mind (because personally thanking them may be going overboard) for all the lessons you learnt and the memories you will cherish for as long as you are alive.

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