The last time that we spoke, I wish it was different. I would have preferred to end our association discussing something unimportant. Nothing life-changing, just a normal conversation with no meaning attached to it. The last time that we spoke should have been a casual chat starting with a simple ‘Hello’, ending as soon as it began, not giving room for memories to form in our minds. A dry and dull exchange of meaningless words that we couldn’t possibly remember enough to replay in our minds. Never should it have been the only regret we took to our respective beds every night. We should not have looked into each others’ eyes that day or ever, for that matter, because it was too late when we discovered why the eyes are referred to as the reflection of one’s soul. Soul gazing should not have been on the agenda when we spoke for the last time. It should have bored us out of our minds instead of leaving scars on the broken pieces of our already fragile hearts. But it ruptured something beautiful that wasn’t meant to be, didn’t it? Even now, I think of starting a conversation with you just to forget our last somehow. Maybe ask about your life, feigning interest in your interests and then backing out slowly, irreverently. But our last time was unforgivable and I cannot help but be interested in everything you could tell me so how can I talk to you first? That’s why I hope you would initiate a tete-a-tete someday, something less earth-shattering, in no way extraordinary, leaving my heart as it is. Or maybe not, because I’d rather remember you with an ache in my chest, the perfect projection of outer strength intact even when you are dying inside than think of you as just an acquaintance I could forget about easily after a departure. Or someone I wished to never have met in a thousand different ways in this short life. Because nothing you could do would ever make me do just that. Even though that is exactly what is required to restore true happiness into all my smiles.
Because everyone has a person they share a history with and such people and their memories can never be erased. No matter how easy one’s life could become by doing only that.
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