A series of fictional diary entries of people I may or may not have come across. The truth is conditional and so the option to believe lies with the reader.
He looked at me today and asked me if I was lost. It was part of his job to help the freshers find their way about. It did hurt to know that he never noticed me once in the four years I had spent there, and being lost in admiration of his face on a summer morning had led to him confusing me for someone who needed help. In the fifteen seconds that followed after his question, I wanted to yell at him for being so blind to my love. I wished to hold his face close to mine and enchant him with my eyes that several others found irresistible. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind and decided against it since he occupied its entirety anyway. And then, I clenched my fist tighter, feeling the urge to stab him with my ink pen in his chest and watch him pay his debts for being ignorant of who I was and of the overflowing feelings that I found hard to harbor in my damaged heart. But I couldn’t. So, I walked away wordlessly, remaining a stranger to him, leaving his head stuck up in the clouds that would one day speak all the words I could never say with the wrong kind of thunder, hopefully shattering him a little.
If you were one of those who could never express your feelings to someone because it was difficult to let them know of your existence in the first place, this is for you! The best thing is to stop wasting your life on such a person and find someone who appreciates the fact that you are alive and would miss you immensely when you are gone.
The outgoing personality I put forth is only a shield to prevent you from noticing my stolen glances. You mistook my appreciative comments about your personality, the only time I singularly directed my attention towards one person and his mind, as part of the friendliness that I was well known for. The popularity among our peers only helped in ruining my attempts to introduce myself to you, unraveling my true nature, without all the bubbly exterior of my frequently used lie surrounding it. I have more depths in my character than the fun girl with a knack for reigning parties that you choose to see when you notice just the apparently careless laughter of mine in crowds I often appear in the midst of. My favorite color is black and not one of those shimmery shades you spot me sporting on summer days I love to hate. I hate talking and it is only because I haven’t found a suitable enigma to share my silences with that I have become this chatty. The music I prefer would bore you because I pick meaningful lyrics over loudness on nights I end up pondering about life while staring at the ceiling. And on that one day when I will finally execute my well thought-out plan to run away from all the cacophony, I will invite you to explore the realms of peace along with me because I love you and I still haven’t figured out why! So, if you are reading this, it is time now for you to decide if you would want to fall in love with me too and set out on a journey with no return to those ice-capped mountains I fell in love with before I fell in love with you.
Dedicated to the extroverts who rarely are featured in most works of writing for who they really are. Their love can be as divine and confusing as anybody’s and even though you may see them everywhere, being the centre of attention and seeming to have it all, they may not have it all. After all, most of us are ordinary humans inside and do not enjoy everything life hands over to us.
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