Dedication – 5

There are old friends and then there are new ones and sometimes certain in-betweens who leave a long-lasting impression and disappear without warning…

Did you ever have one of those relationships where when it ended, you felt how unreal some of the instances had been? Almost like you woke up from an extremely vivid dream where you knew for sure that you had drowned but yet there you were, awake and alive! But if it was only just a dream, how come you are drenched from head to toe? Have you ever seen someone transform right in front of your eyes? Not like a magician who finally mastered the prestige – the vanishing act where they reappear in another place, possibly slightly changed. But more like turning into someone new, a stranger in a familiar body. Did you ever learn to accept them with all the drastic changes or did you let them get away into the unknown, now that they had become the unfamiliar? Do you wonder if it had only been a mirage, even though you were not stranded on a desert and it probably was not even summer then, was it some kind of epiphany that made you feel like you had company? Perhaps somebody similar to an oasis, enriching the empty and dry life that you thought did not lack anything or anyone, up until there was hope. If it was only a trick played by your mind, how come you still feel all those feelings in full force at times? Why are there still things in your cupboard you yearn to get rid of but won’t just because they were proof of an existence? When some days, a certain name, songs you have come to hate, all remind you that it was real, what do you do to forget and pretend like it never happened? Shrug and accept that it was just an encounter unavoidable because of fate’s cruel plays? Romanticize it and call it destiny? Wish to go back in time and un-meet the cause of your unhappiness, no matter how unrealistic that is? Think of it as an episode in some previous life of yours that must be forgotten about if the present one must continue? Or just write a vague account in memory of the someone that you used to know?

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