Detachment

Detachment is not my middle name.  I take time to trust people because that is one of the lessons that life has taught me. To be cautious of human beings as they have the ability to inflict wounds on your mind that last a lifetime. The constant reassurance and reminder of being loved through words and actions is a necessity for me. It has to be said – multiple times – often when we are alone and sometimes, if you feel like it, in public, that you love me. I have to know, have to be sure that there is love and that it hasn’t been replaced by some other feelings over time. Because it is a possibility that I’m all too familiar with.

I need the kind of love that makes you a mess when I step out of the house. The fear of losing me to death must be one of your worst. You must worry and think of the most awful occurrence your mind can conjure up of my state, when I don’t pick up your calls. You must spend sleepless nights wondering how you will survive after I’m gone and not find a solution. It must make you want to hold me tighter, keep me safer within your comforting embrace and never once want to hurt me. You should love me so selflessly and honestly that you would be willing to scrape a part of your heart without being anaesthetized and place it at my disposal. You must trust me with more than just your dreams and life.

When we are apart, missing me must be the most prevalent on your mind and the sense of having lost a body part, maybe even your heart, must be felt when I’m absent. You must count down the days till we can meet again and when we do, tears of joy and an ache deep in your innocent soul that has not yet quite realized that I won’t be leaving anytime soon or at all – these are what I want to welcome me.

I deserve it all and much more, I want you to accept that too. I need you to walk with me and share insignificant moments that may seem precious to an outsider who nurses a broken heart. I want us to be just another story, no matter what the ending, it is not necessary that we must be an epic. You and I are the only ones who need to understand our love, the world could go on minding its own business when we are lost holding onto each other’s  essence long after a tiresome day when the only thing that allures is the hope to jump back into one another’s open arms and listen to the meaningless tales of those who do not count and drift into a sweet slumber as an entanglement of two bodies, one soul and two brilliant relentless minds that refuse to give up on love as long as we are both alive and together.

Like the Facebook page of Soul-ed Out and follow @so.by.ss on Instagram!